What Happened?

That's me, top row second from the left.

I made a little entry a few days ago about how large an effect moving from North Shore to Deer Park had on my life. I've had a bit to drink tonight and now I am fixated upon the subject once again. I am in no way a racist. I define a racist as someone who acts on their prejudices, accepting and reinforcing those prejudices through their actions. I do have prejudices. Though I don't act upon them, and detest them, they just won't go away. They have an instinctual quality to them. They present themselves in my mind in the same manner as innate knowledge, as if it is beyond logic. I have to notice these prejudices, acknowledge them and logically disprove them over and over again, but this never makes that initial urge go away. Will these unrealistic images and ideas never leave me. I wish I could control my brain and just wipe these prejudices away. I don't understand why I constantly disprove them with logic but they still stay. How can humanity go beyond what it now is if these instinctual animal thoughts still have so much power over us? How could that kid with no front teeth transform into a grown man with prejudices?